THE HEALTH CLUB                                         hcdrawing

One day feeling frisky,
I did something risky
And off to the health club I went.

If I could reduce,
If my pants could be loose,
That would be money well spent.

First there was spinning
Right from the beginning
I knew it wasn’t my style.

They were all dripping sweat
Their hair, soaking wet
I never saw one of them smile!

The Yoga teacher said, “Hi,
Come give it a try.”
She had me get down on the floor.

It wasn’t so pretty
When it took a committee
To render me upright once more!

I checked out Pilates
Those pretzel thin boadies
I tried just one move and said, “Nix!”

As the old saying goes
And most everyone knows
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Then, while we were talking
Some guy said, “Try walking.
It’s great.  You don’t have to go far.”

He seemed really nice
So I took his advice And  I walked out the door to my car!

CALENDAR GIRL

My calendar is oh, so full
I’m busy every minute
Frankly, not a day goes by
Without a doctor in it

Monday it’s my EKG
Tuesday it’s my shrink
Wednesday I see my Internist
He’ll say I’m in the pink

Thursday someone checks my teeth
Removing all the plaque
Friday I squeeze in my mammogram
I swear I’ll not go back

Then it’s time for lab work
The nurse will draw some blood
She’ll make me pee into a cup
I hope it doesn’t flood

These appointments are annoying
They cause me grief and strife
But if they all got cancelled
I’d have no social life

Copyright © Chris Oosterbaan & Joyce Snow, 2013